


Reaching Out to You

by HelenBlossom



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Attempt at nonverbal communication at least, I will add to this as the story progresses, Inner Dialogue, Letters, M/M, Nonverbal Communication, Pining if you squint, kind of?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-15 18:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11237055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenBlossom/pseuds/HelenBlossom
Summary: It had been two long weeks since Jeremy started to ignore him.And Michael couldn't take it anymore.//Letter and general concept inspired by @canweorderpizza's underdeveloped idea.





	1. Chapter 1

It started with a missed call.

Jeremy never missed his calls.

Then it spiralled into ignored texts, driving home alone and hardly seeing each other altogether.

Michael was desperate to get his best friend, his Player Two back. So after two weeks, he decided to write physical letters in an attempt to communicate instead.

Which, subsequently, led him to lingering awkwardly near Jeremy's locker, which was just down the hall from his own. He was holding the letter shakily in his right hand.

He could still turn back and avoid embarrassment or sadness.

But he knew he couldn't just wait for Jeremy to notice him again. It was already unbearable.

He just needed to put the letter in Jeremy's locker.

No big deal.

He quickly slipped it into his friend's (or at least, he hoped they were still considered friends) locker, glancing around before turning, his heart thrumming in his chest as he made his way to class. 

\--------  
Dear Jeremy.  
(No, too formal.)

Hey!  
(Too casual, this isn't texting.)

Maybe not address it at all?  
(No, what if it fell out of his locker when he opened it?)  
\--------

Hey Jer,

We haven't talked properly in ages. Did you get a new phone number? I've been sending you texts, but you never reply. I thought you would have told me, but I know how forgetful you are!

(That was a lie. Jeremy wasn't too forgetful, and Michael was his best friend anyway. Shouldn't he take priority? Anyway, he was grasping at straws.)

I get that you've been a bit busy with the upcoming play too. How's play rehersal treating you? You haven't quit already, right? I see you go to the theater every day after school, so it must be getting pretty serious! I'm proud of you, man. Stepping out of your shell like that!

(Yeah, unlike him. He was comfortable in his shell, his facade of indifference when it came to popularity. Well, it hadn't been a facade until two weeks ago.)

Ha, I sound so old. My day's been cool. I tried some new sushi combinations, and they taste amazing! 

(Another white lie. He'd started eating less and less at lunch until he just skipped lunch entirely. And it had only been in a span of two weeks.)

Seven Eleven got a new slushie flavour, too! So the past fortnight's been full of new experiences.

(That was actually true, but his new experiences weren't ones he wanted to elaborate on. They mainly focused on Jeremy's absence.)

Anyway, we haven't hung out in ages! You should totally let me know if you wanna play some video games or get stoned in my basement. I know you're a bit iffy with the drugs, though, so some good old Mario Kart would be chill too.

(He just wanted to hang out with him. He didn't care what they were doing.)

Write back so I know you're doing alright, okay?

(Please just write back. Let me know that we're still friends.)

 Hope you have a great day! Have fun at rehersal, and remember your lines. 

(Just sound supportive. Not saying he wasn't supportive, he was, he just didn't want to let his own sadness bleed into the message.)

From your Player One,  
Michael Mell.

(Why so formal? Oh well, it'll have to do.)

\--------

Jeremy opened his locker at the end of the day, planning on retrieving some textbooks. He didn't see the hastily folded piece of paper.  
He didn't see anything out of the ordinary at all.


	2. Chapter 2

It became a routine.

Every lunch, Michael would write a letter to Jeremy. These varied in lengths, some several paragraphs, others just small notes of one short paragraph. 

Then he would linger around his locker until he managed to work up the courage to slip the paper into Jeremy's locker.

After school, he'd drive home alone. Get stoned, play games one player mode.

And the next morning, he'd arrive at school and instantly check his locker, hoping to find a note or letter back. 

He didn't.

\-----  
Heyo Jeremy.

Sorry this is quick, but I've gotta finish an assignment for next period. I know, me giving a damn about grades, who knew? 

(I have nothing else to do without you.)

You still gotta give me your new phone number, dude! Maybe write me back so we can hang out?

(Please. Write back.)

From your Player One,  
Michael Mell.

\-----  
Hi Jer!

How was your weekend? Mine was great!

(What a big fucking lie.)

I finally got hooked up with some bottles of Orbitz! They're clear, fruity soda with tapioca. It's from the 90's, but was discontinued within a year. I'll save you a bottle, if you'd like to try one.

(That was true. He had a fairly small cardboard box of the stuff now, and a bottle in his bag when writing the letter.)

I also bought Apocalypse of the Damned 2. I've been trying it out one player mode, and the graphics are amazing! It would be awesome if you came over and played some two player with me. I haven't been able to beat the first level without you.

(Again, true. His lonliness was leaking into his writing, but fuck it. Please play video games with me again. Please tell me that we're still friends.)

Hey, it's also just turned October two days ago! The spooky month, haha. Do you want to hang out and gorge on Halloween candy while playing horror games like usual? It'll be fun!

(We're still friends, right? Horror games and candy, our tradition. You'll follow through with it, right? Please follow through with it.)

Write back soon! I worry about you, dude.

(I worry about you all the time. Did...I do something wrong? Why won't you speak to me?)

From your Player One,  
Michael Mell.

\-----  
"Michael? W-Where have you been all day?"

His heart stopped. Jeremy was standing in front of him and better yet, talking to him. However, the fact that he brushed off his many letters, attempted texts and conversations rubbed him the wrong way.

"Really? So you're not the one avoiding me?"  
He replied, a slight tremor to his voice as he watched Jeremy, his eyes slightly unfocused. "Seriously, what's up with you? You've been acting shady ever since...since.."

Everything clicked into place.

The difference in Jeremy's stance, speaking and place in the school social heirarchy. The tictac-Squip scam, which didn't seem to be quite so fake anymore.

"It worked, didn't it?" He asked with a small smile, chuckling lightly as his grin widened. "Jeremy! That's amazing! We gotta test it out-" He ran a hand through his hair, giddy. They were back on speaking terms, and things were finally looking up. "No, we gotta celebrate! We gotta...get stoned in my basement!"

He was buzzing with happiness and relief that he wasn't abandonded, to the point that he didn't noticed Jeremy's gaze on the floor, face blank.

Michael was gushing about video games the two could play, that new pizza place in town they should totally try, the new vintage shit he had found through his recent midnight internet searchings.

"Jeremy, are you coming?" He smiled, eyes bright as he looked expectantly at the other. Jeremy's gaze seemed to darken as he turned, mumbling something under his breath.

"Jer?" He asked, his smile dulling as the other seemed to completely ignore him once again, making his way down the hallway.

Like he didn't exist.

\-----

Hey Jeremy.

You were probably late for class or something earlier, so I'm sorry about that!

(They still had ten minutes of lunch left.)

But I just want to apologise if I did something wrong. You've been distant lately.

(Distant is an understatement.)

I'd really like to play some games with you again, maybe this Friday? I hope you're okay.

(This is nearly the most genuine he's been in these letters.)

Stay strong! Feel free to drop your response into my locker, okay? You know which one it is.

(Please reply.)

From your Player One,  
Michael Mell.


	3. Chapter 3

Michael began to have a sneaking suspicion that the Squip was the reason Jeremy was ignoring him.

\-----

Jer, 

How have you been? I haven't seen you in a while.

(It's been two weeks. Two weeks of many, many unreplied letters.)

School's been suckish, and I've got an assignment due in tomorrow. But you already knew that, seeing as you're in that class too.

(Yet you still ignored me. Is it the Squip?)

I hope your assignment is going better than mine.

(I hope it's just the Squip)

I also heard Jake Dillinger is hosting a Halloween party in a week or so. Were you invited? I wasn't, but now that you're one of the 'popular kids', you'd be invited, right?

(Don't let your own bitterness and sadness bleed into the letter.)

Anyway, I have to go finish off that assignment. Please write back!

(Please. I'm so worried. Communicate with me..)

From your Player One,  
Michael Mell

\-----

Michael played Warcraft with another guy, someone who lived halfway across the country. They weren't really close, but he was good to talk and rant to while playing. It helped now that Michael's first source of companionship had abandonded him.

"-and I just find it really weird, y'know?"  
He had been explaining his situation, ranting about his feelings for the past ten, almost fifteen minutes. Michael toyed with the joystick, almost able to hear his friend think through his headphones.

"I know what you mean."   
He started after a while, pausing momentarily as he concentrated on collecting a particularly hard-to-reach item.  
"My brother was shit at all subjects. Next thing I know, $400 is gone from the bank and my little bro's getting top grades."

Michael blinked, bewildered. He hadn't expected to find someone who had gone through the same experience as him.  
"Really? What happened to him?"

The player on the other side sighed heavily, shifting.   
"Well...he doesn't have to worry about his grades any more."

"Why not?"  
Michael didn't want to pry, but he was worried about Jeremy and the answers were all just there.

"M-My brother's currently in a mental hospital. He went insane trying to get, what is it, a squip, out of his head. Too much for him." He explained, lagging behind in the game as he spoke.

Michael ended the game early that night.

He researched instead.

\-----

Hey Jeremy,

I found out something important, I thought you'd might like to know. Meet me after school at my locker? It'll be quick...it's about your squip.

(Please come. Not for me, for yourself.

Maybe we could hang out afterwards too? It's been ages since we've actually hung out, y'know?

(So maybe I need a bit of reassurance. Are we still friends, Jer? Am I good enough for you?)

I'll see you soon!

From your Player One,  
Michael Mell.

\-----

He didn't turn up.

Michael wasn't surprised.

\-----

Michael sat on his bed, elbows resting on his knees, debating. 

He knew Jeremy had been invited to Dillinger's party; he overheard them talking about it in the hallway. 

Michael himself wasn't invited, and thank God for that. He hated parties unless someone he wholeheartedly trusted was there, because he felt so awkward and out of place. He didn't know how to hold himself, especially in a teen party situation. 

But if he snuck in, he'd get an opportunity to speak to Jeremy, right? A house party made it easier to find one person compared to searching the entire school grounds.

He tapped his foot, sighing as he dug he phone out of his hoodie pocket and brought up Google Maps.

Michael stood after a moment, opening a drawer and picking up a pair of monster hand gloves, buried right at the bottom. 

He held them in one hand as he made his way out the door.

If Jeremy wouldn't come to him, he'd just have to go to Jeremy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this at 1am, so there may be more mistakes in this chapter.


End file.
